Saturday, June 07, 2008

end of semester 2

thank you, God.. I managed to finish 9 essays, posters, presentations and projects this month.. it has been frustrating as hell.. and I'm just soooo grateful that I finally submitted the last 2 this morning...

celebration is definitely coming.. will spend this weekend hanging out with friends, have a girly night, watching sex & the city and soccer!! oooh, so excited.. :)

well, not really.. no, i am excited...... just start feeling a bit lost as well.. you know, when you have millions of things to do, you can barely have time to think about yourself.. now that all the assignments are done, i start having thoughts that worry me..

'i can't believe semester 2 already passed'
'i'm gonna have to leave my friends'
'i might have to leave my annoyingly luv one'
'what am i gonna do?'
'should i find a job here?'
'in what city? where would my friends be?'
'what if i live far away? would i lose everything i have right now?'

i've always thought this month was unbelievably hard with those 9 crazy assignments.. but dealing with this thoughts.... it's so much more horrible..

it's almost the same feeling as when i left to UK.. but the thoughts were more like, 'i can't believe i won't be able to meet my family for a year.. and now... 'i can't believe i might not see my friends ever again.....

Jesus.. i still have 3 months to do my dissertation, and i'm feeling sad already thinking about leaving.. i don't wanna go.. i don't want things to change.. i like my life here.. i made many good friends whom i love truly, and without them, i wouldn't have been this happy and grateful.. we laugh, we cry, we fight, we are brutally honest with each other, i know their secrets and they know the deepest things about me more than anyone else.. they made me be a better person, a person who is more confident and independent.. :) i love every single time i spent with each one of them, and i do hope i could use the next few months to be a good friend for them too, and just be thankful for every single moment i spend with them :)

......

wow, i really can't have nothing to do.. i'm going stupidly melancholy and .... well, a bit crazy..

anyway :) there is good news! so when i got here last year, i joined an orientation programme for a week, right.. i had an amazing time, it was seriously one of the best moments in my life.. all of the assistants made me feel sooo welcome, that i didn't even feel homesick when i arrived.. they're so incredibly approachable, friendly, nice and caring.. i had friends who didn't join orientation because they didn't think it was worth it, and they had lots of troubles settling in, because everything was new, and they didn't know anyone, and it was so frustrating for them.. while me, i made LOTS of friends during orientation.. all lonely students, lived for 7 days in the same roof.. we helped each other, and it created amazing connection.. it was an unforgettable experience.. i realized how it could be soooo beneficial for new students, that i decided to apply to be an assistant for the orientation this year.. and guess what... after training and interview, i got the job!!! :D i literally screamed when i got the announcement.. i'm just soooo bloody happy that i have the chance to do the same, helping the new students settling in.. :) it's just AWESOME! and i'm so looking forward to it.. :)

wow... thinking about it definitely gives me a better mood :D well done, mon.. :D

~5 days have passed, 5 more to go.. Tesknie za Toba.. come back soon..... xxxxxxx